In 1959 we had among us Professor Mr Juan Rof Carballowho wrote books such as "Inner Brain and the Emotional World", "Affective Warp and Disease" or "Inner Brain and Society", vIn these, he pointed out that the human being is built in a warp of emotions, attentions, neglect, care and neglect. In these, he pointed out that the human being is built in a warp of emotions, attentions, inattentions, care and neglect. For he is born with only 30% of his brain completed.
It is impossible to synthesise these books, ahead of their time, which fell plummeting into a lake of programmed and current ignorance, taught at the University: behaviourism; a theory that says that only what can be validated is valid. And it is even said that the term emotional intelligence was introduced by Salovey & Mayer (1990), ignoring Rof Carballo.
But all agreed that emotional intelligence reflects an individual's ability to manage his or her own emotions and motivations and to know something of their emotional origins.
What about Goleman (1979)? Although with the merit of opening a door in a generation of doctors, psychologists and the general public who were fearful and reluctant to admit such postulates, this author begins to quote psychoanalytical authors.
It had already been discovered and described long before by the classics, including Cervantes, who in Chapter X of Don Quixote sends Sancho to meet Dulcinea and gives him a little lesson in body language, ending his advice in this way: "You must know Sancho..., that the exterior actions and movements... are very certain couriers that bring the news of what is going on inside the soul" "watch her movements..., if she raises her hand to her hair to fix it, even if it is not disordered..., if she is uneasy and troubled".
Emotional intelligence is part of an inseparable whole, being a component of everything that human offspring must incorporate into their brain structure from birth. Babies see double until they are six months old, are short-sighted and have a stomach the size of a cherry at birth. It is absolutely dependent on the quality of what we provide to complete its development in this warp: that emotional tissue we call foetalisation, the completion of the assembly of the brain. Only parental care can complete the brain of this human who was born prematurely compared to any other animal with a skull. Born with the same development as other mammals, it would not fit through the birth canal. We must be born premature. So, for a period of time, we will react and proceed in the evaluation of our environment with a very deficient brain: that is narcissism, in the infant and when it occurs in adults.
Emotional intelligence has, among other functions, one component: the ability to detect one's own emotions and those of others and to use the information gathered from them to guide our thinking and action. This is based on being able to describe, feel, locate and put into words the enormous variety of emotions that inhabit us, what we feel, which includes memory, consciousness, non-consciousness, the physiological processes that give away the existence of the same and the perception of the emotions of others.
Many people who have not finished their emotional development and are anchored to characteristics of the infantile mind have been defined as narcissists. They are people who are emotionally stuck in their perception of others at that infantile age, in which they can abuse their mothers, tyrannise them, without awareness or consideration of the discomfort or damage they cause, because with the brain they have, they cannot have empathy. Therefore, they can demand without limits and will never be able to discern whether their emotional outbursts are justified or not. The developing state of their limbic system does not allow them to sense whether they are doing harm or not.
This is the narcissist's brain. It will be activated by any small crisis, setback, or because others do not give the response it expects. They need the other person to be a perfect match, as in the tantrums of two or three year olds, but now in the form of outbursts, cuts, abruptness at the slightest touch, scorn, emotional disconnections, when we go beyond what they have in mind or believe should be. It is striking - as in two-year-olds - that the immature child does not feel the danger of disregarding, insulting, and ignoring, for the minds of those with whom they live or for the loss of people who, because of their emotional maturity, will not put up with them.
Beings who enter into stable patterns of overt or covert destructive, disqualifying behaviour that, as you might expect, disrupts the environment of a department in a company, a couple, a family, a community. But they don't care, because, like two-year-olds, they can destroy anything they want and then be loving, seductive and smiling, because they don't process their destructive behaviour, something that will gradually destabilise the cohabitant with such behaviour. This is something that I think ends up being the ultimate end of their behaviour. They are adults with a child in control of their emotional perceptions.
The unintelligent - the non-self-recognised emotional illiterate - will not enjoy the value of others, nor will they promote people close to them. Just as we cannot ask a two or three year old child to look inside himself, these people use it to locate the faults of others, but they will consider that they have nothing to improve personally and that the problems are caused by others when they do not conform to what they want, to their vision of the world. Are we seeing and verifying the infantile origin? It is not within the reach of most people to know what emotion they feel and what their emotional system is, activated from outside or from the body.
Some examples might be: His blood pressure has risen in the middle of his youth or he is in a state of anxiety, insomnia; or, when an only daughter decided to go away as an aid worker, leaving her mother ill in bed. What had she projected there, in her destiny, that surpassed in importance the mother, finally deceased? Another sweated and had nightmares when he slept next to his wife, something that did not happen to him when she was away for professional reasons, he did not perceive her subtle, artful disqualifications. One man had headaches when he came into the house, we discovered that they were the disqualifying attacks of his wife, who, because of her very limited emotional intelligence, did not pass it on to his conscience, and also because this same disqualification was the atmosphere he experienced in his parents' house.
People with a lack of emotional control make decisions with immediate, simple data and cannot wait for proven knowledge before fleeing, attacking or thinking, or they simplify and/or denigrate. They are quick to jump, reject, deny, and aggravate, undervaluing what they do not control or produce an emotional shock: "we already know this".
Can all this be improved or corrected without the help of real experts, when these people deny psychology, denigrate it, fear it, consider it alien to themselves? To maintain their compensatory superiority.
*The texts reflect the views of the author and are independent of the opinions of PROA.